Firstly welcome, your not an idiot it could happen to anyone, remove one rear wheel at a time and strike the centre hub of the disc to free off the handbrake shoes which are located inside the centre hub, rotate the disc until it runs free then repeat this procedure on the other rear wheel. The handbrake operates on the rear wheels only. As soon as is possible you need to have the handbrake mechanism and cables lubricated to prevent this happening again. It may also be worth removing the rear discs to enable servicing of the parking brake shoes.

The car wont move at all!!? have you tried rocking the car using the clutch..., if the shoes are stuck to the inside of the drum than your in for a nightmare getting the disc off and the shoes are secured by a clip to the backing plate and you will need a lot of force to rip the securing clip nut out of the backing plate.... I would try a rocking technique first..... cheers jod

I've had this happen before on a "stored" car... (the missus keeps putting the handbrakes on) I've used a chock of wood (stops damaging the drums/disk at the back) with a couple of good belts from a BFH. Always does the job :)

Long long ago, in a land far away, my Escort used to do this badly and the worst case once was when I had to drive it quickly over a kerb to release it.

if it turns out to be the shoes siezed onto the drums there is a small hole in the drum face that allows access to the self adjuster wheel thet sits accross the top of the shoes. get a bright torch and a thin flat head screwdriver to wind the adjuster back off. wayne

Cheers for all your ideas guys. I tried the rocking back and forth a few times with the clutch when i first found it was stuck but no luck. I'm gonna go and have a look now and try the other ideas (ie whack it a few times!) and see what happens watch this space...

if its pads stuck to discs, whacking will work. if its shoes stuck to drum it wont work. wayne